Adjusting

The last couple weeks as a family of five has been difficult at times, but as I've written before, my cup is full. I'm so very happy. As Josh wrote about in his blog entry, we've waited a long time for Haddie.  I think that is at the root of my happiness. It's also a blessing that having her is even better than I imagined. I love to watch Josh with her. I love to watch the boys with her.

Haddie is by far my easiest baby to this point. Hopefully, it stays that way! She eats about every 3-4 hours (at night she can go about 5-6 hours usually). After she eats, she will be awake for a little bit (less than 30 minutes typically) and then goes back to sleep til she is hungry again. I told her pediatrician how easy she is, and he replied, "The third one always is. If you had reversed your kids, whichever boy was your third, would be your easiest. That's because of you and Josh." I agree partly with this philosophy. Both Josh and I are more relaxed and do not go running to pick Haddie up with each little sound she makes. I try to pause and wait and see what she needs. I also think she naturally loves to sleep and is laid back. I know other firstborns who sleep well at a young age. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful I have a newborn that sleeps so much at a time. After Mr. Casen who liked to nurse about every hour, 24-7 (at least that's what I remember), I can appreciate this different experience.

I wouldn't say that the last couple weeks have flown by though despite having a pretty easy newborn. I know one day I'll look back and won't remember these days as clearly. That thought makes me try to soak in these special early days with Haddie. I'm tired and worn out from the delivery. Hormones are still out-of-whack some days. I'm trying to find the balance of having three kids. I'm redefining quality time with Josh...oohing over or feeding Haddie in the evening and possibly staying awake together to watch a show. Through all this, I know that time will bring refreshment and adjustment. Until then, I'm wondering what I'll say about having the third in a year or so. One person told me, "We lost control when we had the third." Another told me, "The third was the easiest."

Some highlights I want to remember but probably won't unless I write (blog) about it:

Casen calling baby by her full name: Hadassah Jayne. Always. "Oh, Hadassah Jayne looks cute."

Liam insisting on holding her several times a day. The way he continually checks on her - especially if she isn't with me in the living room. "Where's Baby Button?"

Casen and Liam singing Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) to Button anytime she is fussy or crying. They change the lyrics "little man" to "little woman."

The way Haddie looked for Josh in the hospital when she heard his voice. The way she will look for the boys sometimes if she hears them at home.

Haddie all curled up into a little ball on her Daddy's chest or shoulder. And the look on his face when he holds her.

*Funny enough (well, funny because of the lack of sleep probably), Haddie had rough nights the nights I started this blog post and the night I finished it (non-consecutive nights). Makes me appreciate the good nights!