Unplans and Lessons of the Summer

I'm a planner. And while I've relaxed a bit over the years, I like to have at least an idea of things to accomplish and to stay busy. The middle part of my summer was a new experience for me and definitely not part of my summer plans. The Monday after I returned from back-to-back conferences, I woke up at 4 AM with abdominal pain. By about 2 PM or so, convinced by friends and family, I headed to the ER as the pain got worse. They took care of me pretty quickly at the ER as well as gave me something for the pain. Turns out I had diverticulitis, an infection in my colon. I barely ate the next ten days dropping a lot of weight quickly. The pain, nausea, and exhaustion stayed around most of the time. I'm thankful it was summer and my kids were older. I was in bed much of the time. I was back in the ER two weeks after my initial visit, for more severe abdominal pain. After having a dismissive ER doctor who I think thought I was after drugs, my Mom got me into her GI doctor. Two scopes later and a lot of blood work, I finally got some answers. Thankfully, nothing super serious, but I've developed some major food sensitivities. I'm on a strict diet now, and I've felt much better the last month or so.

As I reflect on this experience, and didn't get to do everything I had planned on, I learned a few things...

1. Being sick from eating is awful. I had no energy and felt nauseated almost all the time. I thought of my friends who have had to figure out food allergies over a longer period of time. Or the friends who have health issues that aren't as easily managed as my condition. This experience gave me more empathy for others and more awareness about food allergies when I'm cooking or providing food.

2. Doctors can be dismissive and make you feel like you're crazy. I was familiar with the stories and research that show that females in pain are more likely to be ignored or downplayed. But I was still surprised at my first ER visit. I was getting discharged from the ER, but I had so much pain, both my mom and nurse were having to get me dressed and into the wheelchair because all I could do was cry. Turns out I was having a reaction to the morphine they had given me, but all the doctor said was, "The pain will lesson as you heal." During the second ER visit, the doctor dismissed me even though they didn't know why I was in pain and couldn't eat. I couldn't get into the referring specialist for another two months. In the doctor's words, "Unless you're bleeding, I can't order a scope or anything. You'll just have to wait for the specialist." I am so glad my mom was with me and called her GI specialist as soon as we left the ER. Her specialist's nurse listened to my symptoms and said, "Yeah. She needs to be seen soon. We'll work her in." Less than a week later, I had a colonoscopy and the start of a bunch of tests. So everybody, but especially women, stand up for yourself and find a new doctor if your symptoms are being ignored.

3. I enjoy food. Like, I really like food. I especially love chocolate and pastries, but I've had to give both of those up (at least for now). I discovered I can live without those things. I also accepted that it's okay to be sad about food. I think it was day 4 of only being able to eat chicken broth when I had my first emotional breakdown. Being hungry doesn't lend itself well to being rational. I did learn though that overall, even though I was around a healthy weight and a runner before, I was still overeating. Or rather, overeating on unhealthy food. With the healthier diet, my sugar levels stay more level and I feel better. I'm slowly figuring out what to eat, too, so I can run (I'm back up to a slow five miles).

4. I knew this, but it was a great reminder: I have a great team around me. Friends and family taking care of me, Josh, and the kids. Encouragement and prayers. Listening to my complaints and cries. I'm very thankful.